Well. today was the first real day of work ( i worked two hours before)

and it was realllllly super fun.
I mastered capture of the flag. I was mostly the referee, and then I manned some dodgeball.

Met some really fun people. Like Michael, Ryan, Josh, and Stephanie.

I knew michael and josh from before. But ryan and mike helped me out with activities and stephanie filled me in on working at the food counter.

:)
tomorrow- 10-5.

Years unseen

When the past becomes the present, I become scared. Often, memories hold me together, force me to push on, allow me to make better decisions. But when she comes from behind and hits you with everything you felt was pver for a reason, it hurts. Longing for a return, yet hoping never to relive those moments again.

--------
What's wrong with having a friend?

Josie

I fear, yet pray, I'm turning into her.
When I'm numb from pain, I see her face.
Again I'm disappointed by the downfalls of humanity, and her words spark my imagination.
We're living in magic.
Here we are, finding it day by day.

And yet I feel a comfort in this secluded, isolated life.

She's living it too.

check in his notebooks, the answers are clear
a little bit of his mother, but mostly he's there.
the hurt of the silence, and the sting of her words.
when she walked the doorway and cried on the stairs

because the super nova fell through, here come the animals.
super nova, he's through, pretending.
super nova became the object of her prize
super nova you're here to make me realize.

when she walked in, beat thumping,
and all the body's bumping
he tried. to make the feelings go away.
but when the red giraffe makes his call.
its like nothing is there, nothing at all.


the water boils, up and up, feel the beat
and the chrome, trips your out, stamp your feet.
the crinkle, the tears, the magic of the years.
its pours....on and on.

Take my photo off the wall...

I'm riding in a charter bus filled with excited teenagers. My stomach is queasy and I'm bubbling over, but to keep my cool I'm reading Cosmo. "Fish Guts make your hair shiny," Sam says, denying that fact that she, too, is nervous for her race the following day. Bus activities vary but no one stats the obvious: We're scared as Hell. Marquette beats our butts every year, and really there is little chance that we will even come close. As I try to put it out of my mind, I start to drift to sleep. Maybe it'll give my tense body some much needed rest.

I wake up, sweating, beneath my blue flannel sheets and quickly shut my eyes, hoping that the reality I've woken up too is the dream, and the dream reality.

I slap my own face--I need to live my life now, my life here.
I have to stop asking, "What if...?"

Productivity

Productivity has been the theme today, and no matter how little or how extreme you go at something, I think it really helps to know that you accomplished something big, something on a grandeur scale.

I know that it will come, but i'm waiting.

Maybe for a new idea.

i'm so excited.
but lately. so tired. so sore.
so down.

my body doesn't want to compete as hard as my mind does.

:\

quiet mumblings

They realize I'm alive. That my efforts are neither frivolous nor fruitless. And I won't lose this war
Without a decent fight. I'm here to win.

Only they can decide if I'm right for the position.


On the other hand, the united way won't give me the time of day:( what Is the problem here?

.....a sad remorse.

With endings, come beginnings.
and they are always hard.
Regardless of who is standing next to you.
I've been so focused on keeping my connections,
and maintaining the relationships with people that I no longer interact with.

But I've made a crucial mistake.
and forgotten the relationship with my first. ever. best friend.
hopefully I'll be blessed with time,
time enough
that I won't have to live with this regret.

Bleh.

you know i'm nothing but excited.
because it is day two.
but it'll have to be short,
because i just have too much to do!

So I'll go on my way,
make some honey water too.
to drink at 6am practices
don't I wish I were you?

puke

I sleep for summer
and dream for time
Here I am
Messed up inside.

My stomach turns
with apprehension
while bitter days
beat out the tension.

no matter where,
no matter who
today's the first
shouldn't that be enough for you?

hmm.

this will prove to be interesting.
and spring is coming :D

its a little bit hard to explain.

but she's right.
we've found magic.

...

its the promise of beauty, flowing from my fingertips.

and the feeling that sits in your stomach for days.

serenity

i don't care if i lose sleep.
my eyes closing in class, yet i still finish before the others.

studies far from my mind, i want to race ahead.

untitled.

elle woods said that endorphins make you happy.
-its not always true.





things to draw:

the light fixture that pours splashes of dignity across my bathroom walls.
the jeans that hug every curve.

fresh start.

the new year.
and a new start.
a cleared conscience
and a skipping heart.


ski: 7k classic, 1k skate
sledding with the girls.

the end.